I don't eat leftovers...

I just got off the phone with my eldest daughter who is in her first year of college. As we were going through the usual, I asked what she had for lunch. She informed me that she had a peanut butter sandwich and a fruit cup. Of course, I was impressed because her usual lunch consisted of junk food during the past several years of high school. During her senior year, as she was able to go off campus for lunch, she typically ate Burger King, Churches Chicken and Wok Inn spending sometimes up to $9 on just lunch. Meanwhile, I was trying to be good and spend $5 at my cafe at work. I have been trying to get my oldest (who also has an ulcer) to eat healthier and warn her of the weight gain experienced by many during their freshman year. Of course this is hardly applicable these days as kids eat junk on a regular basis. Back when I was in secondary school we all usually ate well rounded meals and obesity was not a problem for kids or adults as it is now. I also stress healthy eating as being overweight is an issue for our ethnicity and our immediate family.

...Now back to the peanut butter and fruit...After she got her car and a job, my dear daughter always would proclaim on the leftover days that she was not eating. She would use her hard earned money to buy junk food or skip dinner all together; she spent a lot on junk food. During any given week, she would spend more than $35 on lunch alone! My lunch checks stopped the moment I noticed that she was spending so much. At that point I realized that she needs to know how it feels to take so much money out of your own pocket. I would warn her about spending so much on food, manicures, clothes, gas, etc. I would tell her that she is actually spending more than me on those things (especially the manicure as I think it is a ridiculous waste of a persons income). I would tell her that she will want all that money back when fall came and she had college expenses. But this was all to no avail. 'I'm a senior and I am going to have fun and buy what I want' would be the general sentiment. She would continue to say, "Since I will be on my own next year, I have to buy these things now while I don't have bills and live at home."

Well, during our conversation tonight, I went on to ask if she went home for lunch as she has classes about 5 minutes from her apartment. She informed me that she brought her lunch with her today to save money and try to eat healthier. WOW! Oprah does not know an AHA moment is until she can experience her own child telling you something like that!!

I am beginning to think (and know) that somewhere behind those rolling eyes, frowns and bored stares during one of our many lectures to our child about being prepared for the future, something actually stuck or perhaps, had to stick. We as parents have always been afraid our children would just be lost after they graduated. We tried to scare them. We tried to encourage them. We tried to inform them and warn them so that things would not be as difficult as it was for us. In an age where kids think of themselves first (and sometimes only) and what their parents are going to give them next, I see a beacon ahead in the darkness. I am starting to think that for some of us, for some of them, life has to happen first before they can change. Like many parents, I had to have one of those children who had to make all the mistakes to learn about what is important. I think she has even said I was right on some things.

In the end, unfortunately, we were right as parents usually are. She now has her own apartment, her own rent, her own electric bill, her own water bill and her own grocery list for which she has to plan and pay!! Our daughter has learned that she does want a clean bedroom, a clean house, money in the bank, gas in the tank and she now wants to study!! She realizes that you have to do chores to have a nice home. And indeed she wants a fabulous place. She knows now that eventually you do get tired of frozen waffles and Poptarts for every meal. She now thinks about how much gas it will take to go somewhere. She now works diligently to set priorities. She has started her journey to becoming her parents and I am loving it!!

So eat up, my darling...and enjoy those leftovers that you now eat all the time!!